Why are they laughing at me? Part 1 Letting them get ahead.

Comedy for kids is a huge subject so I thought I would write about a few of the techniques that I use to create routines that make kids laugh. The first is one I call letting them get ahead. This is basically situation comedy and the idea is to have something happen that you are not aware of and then give a comedy reaction to it when you find out. I guess its basically the old slipping on a bannana peel routine applied to lots of other things. The first thing to realise is that almost anything that gets a laugh will be made funnier if the audience is aware of the situation before you are. Slipping on the bannana is funny but no where near as funny as when you see the person drop the peel and then walk back over it after they have forgotten it was there.

With kids this can be done in so many ways its not funny (excuse the pun). Anything that does something by itself can set up this routine. Imagine this... you put on some big headphones and carefully put a big pin on the table. You then blow up a balloon and put it down on the other end of the table just as you turn away to get the pin so you don't see it fly away. When you turn back you react to the fact that the balloon has disappeared. The kids are yelling that you forgot to tie it while your looking round the room for the balloon pretending you can't hear them. Finally you find the balloon, blow it back up and go to put it back on the table.... I'm sure you get the idea.

Lets look at another example. You carefully balance a uni-cycle on its wheel then walk away to get a run up as the uni falls over. When you turn around you react. Each time you stand it up you try to go faster to get back before it falls and the funnier it is.

And another, You get the old peanuts snake can joke and let the audience see you set it up ready to trick another person in the show. You then put some pickled onions next to it. You bring the person over and ask if they would like some yummy peanuts or a yucky pickled onion. They pick the pickled onion because they LOVE pickled onions. Later in the show your making a cake and it needs some peanuts so you open the can and the snakes pop out.

As you can see with a little bit of thought you can at least double the impact of a funny bit by letting the audience get ahead of you. Try and find things you have that could be used this way and you have a great tool for creating routines.

For information about my shows and routines visit www.drippydragon.com

Why don't kids like me?

Let me guess why you’re really reading this blog. It’s the nightmares isn’t it? Somewhere in your mind is the picture of being surrounded by a group of screaming waist high monsters who are throwing anything that’s not tied down and saying words that are making your cheeks burn. 

If only you had the right routine to do, the right story to tell or the right threat to make so that they would just stop it and start having fun properly like they are supposed to. Well the bad news is it’s too late. You missed the part where you make sure this does not get started and now the barn is on fire and the horse has bolted. If your going to have them on your side you needed to do it a bit earlier.

Building Rapport

The most important tool in your box for working with children is creating rapport. Many people seem to have a slightly different view of what rapport is. Some think it’s something to do with being silly and getting laughs. Mostly people think it’s about getting people to like you. Nope it has nothing to do with any of that. Having them like you may help you entertain them or educate them but for dealing with a group of kids (or any audience) rapport is far more important.

In two words rapport is mutual respect. Yes that’s both of you respecting each other, not just them respecting you.  In a few more words it is the situation where a person feels understood and trusts another to the point where they will let that person guide them. It does not require that they like that person. You may be thinking that you would not trust someone you did not like but maybe you would.  Let’s look at an example.

Let’s say you asked a couple of people about the pains in your chest. The first was the local funny man who cracked a few jokes and gave you a beer and then said you might want to take it easy. The second was a local GP who was a grumpy old sod who kept you waiting too long, asked a long list of questions, consulted a couple of huge weird looking books whilst ignoring you completely and then said he should book you in for heart surgery strait away. Which would you trust? Not hard to guess but the point is that it has nothing to do with liking him.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s a good idea to not be liked by the children you deal with but I just want you to understand that rapport is not the same thing and has a different purpose.  Mostly it’s about trust.  The reason the grumpy old GP gets to advise you is because you trust him and his opinion has credibility not because you like him. The reason that children will let you guide them through an experience is the same. They won’t let you entertain them unless they trust that you can do so. They won’t let you educate them unless they trust that you can do that. Before you start expecting them to pay attention or jump through hoops you need to prove to them that they should trust you. Oh and by the way you might only have a couple of minutes at the most to do that before the monsters arrive.

I know it may seem impossible but believe it or not you already know how to do this. If you’ve ever got a date, or a job, or even made a friend then you have used all the techniques you need to have them eating out of the palm of your hand. You see kids are actually just little adults. They may not be as experienced as we are but they are usually just as bright and will make the same type of judgments we do. So just like getting a date your first impressions will count and some things almost always work.

The first is confidence. You need to be the one steering the boat from the moment you arrive. Set up an environment where they are now entering your world and there is an expectation of them playing within your guidelines. We all feel comfortable knowing someone is in charge. It makes us feel safe so the foundation of trust is established.  Believe it or not mutiny is not their first choice.

Then comes credibility. Use every tool you can to establish that you are very good at what you are there to do. Look the part. Dress well and have professional equipment. If they don’t know who you are, what you’ve done or your qualifications have someone tell them before hand. The more respect they have for the opinion of the person introducing you the more credibility you will have. The older the children are the more important this is. If you can it’s a good idea to supply a suitable introduction. If you can’t be sure of a good verbal introduction you can put one on tape or on an introductory video. You can also let them know who you are in writing before the event perhaps with a poster or a brochure or some other type of advertising. Your saying to them “You can trust this person they know what their doing”.

The next thing is to set up some common ground. If you wanted that date this would involve some small talk and with kids it does as well. Literally small talk. What small talk does is it makes us feel understood. It lets us know that the other person understands us and is interested in our opinions or our world if you like. For children most adults seem unapproachable and not really interested in what seems important for the child. If however you give a child even the smallest opportunity to tell you something they will begin blurting out all sorts of things. In fact you will need to know another technique for getting them to stop.

There are three basic techniques for starting some small talk. The first is to comment on something they are familiar with and understand.  This lets them join in the conversation strait away and also introduces a little bit of self esteem as they get to show you their knowledge. We will be talking a lot about self esteem throughout this blog. If you really want to win points you can make a mistake and allow them to correct you. “Oh cool balloons, I love balloons. The chocolate ones are my favourite.”

The second is to ask for their help with something. Children love to feel like they are being a contribution and of course love being praised for having done something for you. “I have to get something else from the car. Could you look after this for me and make sure no one touches it?”

The third and by far the best is to ask questions. Just like the date a smart person starts by asking questions that you know they know the answers to so they don’t feel uncomfortable. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see if you can ask about what will interest them the most at that time. The great thing about this is that it adapts to almost any situation and can lead towards whatever you’re trying to provide. Let’s look at a couple of different situations.

You meet the birthday child who is going to be a key player in your show later and who you want to have on side. They are probably excited about their party and that you are there. “Is it your birthday today? I’m always so excited on my birthday, are you excited? How old are you? Did you get any presents yet?

Notice that I’m not only letting them talk about the things that interest them but I’m letting them know that I really understand how their feeling. This is a very strong technique for building rapport. Once someone feels understood they feel safe. Even the fact that your letting them tell you how they feel makes them feel more comfortable about interacting with you.

Now Imagine I’m at a shopping centre and the kids begin arriving for the show. “Have you come for the magic show? How come you’re not at school? I’m very excited, are you excited? I wish it would hurry up”

Next time I will talk about building rapport with groups very quickly. Until then, thanks for tuning in.

Mr Jim

For information about my shows and services please visit www.drippydragon.com

Kids love Rules, Rewards and Consequences

Have you ever tried playing a game with someone who keeps changing the rules?  Most of us pretty soon don't want to play anymore . The reason is simple. We human beings need to feel that we have some control over our circumstances to feel safe and comfortable and we need to know the rules and boundries to know what will work and what won't.

Having clear rules works for kids on so many levels, not the least of which is the fact that it's the way our community, our society, and our world works and their future will be greatly affected by understanding that life has rules with rewards and concequences. So how is this going to help you with making kids happy?

The first thing you should do is make sure that the children know the rules and why the rules exist. The biggest problem that both parents and others who work with children create for themselves is by not making it clear as to why a rule exists. Children are naturally testing their boundries to gain that little bit more control which is in fact a good thing. Later in life blindly following every rule without question my not be their best choice either. They should be taught to question the reason for the rule. When they understand why a rule exists they also understand why the rewards and consequences are in place. Just saying "Don't do that" in an angry tone won't really teach them anything. Many times it takes almost no more trouble to state the reason than it takes to give them the rule. In my shows I make the rules clear as I go along by saying things like...

Please stay sitting right down on your bottoms so the people at the back can see.

Please don't throw things because you might really hurt someone by accident.

Please don't suck the balloons as the little kids might copy you and they could choke.

These rules are reinforced by rewards and concequences during the show. Lets look at the sitting down rule for example. When I'm performing children will naturally tend to sit up on their knees without thinking and often they will get excited and stand up or come forward during the show. Needless to say this does not really work well as they will quickly copy each other and pretty soon the situation is unworkable. In my magic show I choose the helpers for each routine by saying "Ok I need someone to help me. Lets see who is still sitting nicely on their bottoms". This makes it clear that there is a reward for following the rule. If a child is sitting up blocking the view of the others I will ask them to sit right down and point out the children behind them who can't see. If I have asked them a few times and they are still sitting up I will ask their name and then ask if they like sitting at the back sometimes. This is not done in a harsh of sarcastic way but in a genuine way. They will of course say no and I then say "That's where people who don't sit on their bottoms sit so the others can see". Usually this will solve the problem for the rest of the show.

Now we come to the rule that makes it all work. DON'T CHANGE THE RULES.  If the child sits up again I do make them to go and sit at the back. I keep the agreement that I have made with them and this is the same if I had promised a reward. This applies to any rule that you give a child in life. If you say there is a reward or concequence for an action then apply the result no matter what or make the child earn a change of that result. If you do not apply the result you will quickly teach the child (and any other children watching) that they cannot trust you to keep your word and so they will test the situation every time a rule is applied. If you have already created this type of situation at home or elsewhere you can sit the child or children down and explain to them very clearly why the rule applies and the impact that not following it has and then state that the rewards and concequences will apply not matter what from here on in. Of course you then need to do exactly that. If you then start to stick to your word about the results all the time you will soon see the children become more relaxed and you will notice that you are MAKING KIDS HAPPY.

Information about my shows and events can be found at http://www.drippydragon.com

Introduction to kids happiness

Hello and welcome to my first go at a blog. My intention is to provide a series of articles on working with kids and perhaps just having life with kids work. I have been working with kids as an entertainer for 36 years (OMG) and started doing shows for them at the age of 13. I've done many types of shows in almost every type of event or venue that kids would be found at and have literally done over ten thousand shows for them. I've worked as a clown, a ventrilloquist, a magician, and a puppeteer as well doing all sorts of crazy things as an MC or facilitator. Most of my career has revolved around my three main kids shows: Drippy The Dragon, Mr Jim's Magic Show and Jolly Jim the Pirate.

I guess I feel that I have learnt a few good things over the years and will be sharing some of them in the upcoming posts. Hopefully you will find it useful and worth your time and perhaps even be inspired to make a difference to a future family by making a kid happy as the title suggests.

Todays tip is just give a child a compliment. I don't mean just say something you don't mean about something you don't care about. I mean really take the time to look and see what that child has done well or cares about or even just what their wearing and let them know that you, the all knowing adult, respects them for it. You could make a difference to future generations in that one act. Hey why not try it on a few people before the day is over and see what happens. Go on do it to some adults too. If you do you will not only notice how happy they get, but how happy you get. I wonder why we don't all do this all the time? I guess that's the subject of a future post.

Don't panic this is not going to be a series of "How to get your karma score up" articles. I will also be chatting about their monster side, and their parents as well. Thanks for reading the first part, now lets see where it goes from here. Stay tuned, Mr. Jim

Information about my shows and events can be found at http://www.drippydragon.com